PARENTAL ABUSE: THE HARSH REALITY
Content Writer- Mir Dua
“My dad had limitations. That’s what my good-hearted mom always told us. He had limitations but he meant no harm. It was kind for her to say, but he did do harm.” Gillian Flynn, Gone girl
“Parenthood… It’s about guiding the next generation, and forgiving the last.”
Parenting is a job which possesses credentials but no rules, possesses generalisation but no distinction. And no one is ever made or ready for the role of being a parent. Parenting isn’t just for the motive of having kids and continuing the family blood line, but it is making an individual who has to face the world. A person who is intact emotionally, physically and mentally. It demands sane will, patience, care, control on our negative instincts. Because the child we bore isn’t in-debt to you. The two consented individuals wish to have kids, the kids are blessed upon them, not the kids were provided with the parents. Parents have to give up or destroy their demons for their children so that their kids never get scarred something that they possess.
But somewhere sometimes down individual mismatch kids with will full slaves. Life can strip our sanity in many ways. Sometimes by constantly making us go through endless problems and very grim situations. Sometimes our sanity is that thin worn out string in our hands. We’re humans, we need an idea, people or a concept to hold onto. Something or someone to soothe or ease our nerves in the times of cruel distress and melancholy.
Today is the era of competition, a never-ending ruthless race which has no end. It doesn’t end when you pass your class, it doesn’t end when you graduate, doesn’t end when you get into college, doesn’t end when we’ve a job. Basically competition is like running from one sphere to another. Yes we’ve to be independent. But the real question arises-at what cost?
Parents and guardians are two different terms with different responsibilities and sentiments. Parents are guardians but it’s not the other way around. Unfortunately for some kids in this world, they mean and feel same. Sometimes when parents lays and strictness upon a child, they might be doing for the betterment, but it does harm and nothing else.
When your parents are there but you feel alone, when they are always there but to stand against you, when they instil fear in you, hold you back, push you down, break your will, be authoritative but not affectionate, discourage you, when they show you that this is the path you follow to keep yourself and us happy. When they taunt and throw blankets to your dreams, remember you’re not going through their parenting rather their abuse.
Abuse can be physical, mental or emotional. Depends how sick or contained the parents are. Parents fail to understand by doing this, they’re not making healthy citizens for the community rather individuals with darkness present in their world and an extinguished desire to live. They make scarred monsters, intentionally or unintentionally.
Parents of 21st century fail to understand that they cannot keep in consideration on how they were raised or how to get their kids independent by hook or crook. Then what their kids turn out to be is somewhat between a rebel, hateful, scarred and depressed individual.
Parenting is done in ease not in rush, responsibilities arise not only from the point of view of parents but as well as kids. Society fail to understand the drug addicts, the sluts and prostitutes, the sex addicts, the alcohol addicts are somehow products of their own parental abuse. I believe there’s less harm in killing a man than producing a child.
In the ﬁrst case, you’re relieving and breaking a person from the cycle of life and liberating him or her for the afterlife, but in the latter you’re killing a person while breathing, scarring without wounds, tearing apart the existence while not even inﬂicting a ﬁnger on the bare skin. You’re creating a robot or scapegoat to carry your name, you’re bounding a person to your torture and make them have more scars than you can possibly have, you’re a creating a dead man alive. You’re creating a facade that the society might admire, but that’s a cover to the failure within. The raging monster is hiding when the warm smiles are passed. Some retain what their parents have done or the consequences of their parents actions which ruined their life.
Parents have to be reminded every action gets to their kids, because childhood and adolescence is the period of character shaping, just like a wet clay being moulded. Whatever movements you do remain intact there and then for the rest of their lives. We’ve to be reminded as humans we’re ﬁghting the whole world but the abuse and the ﬁght by the parents has to have an end.